Anthony Coal

Ghost-writing for Andrew Prayzner

Hello,

My name is Anthony Coal from Charlotte NC. I was looking for some artwork online and i found your contact while searching. I will like to purchase some of your work for my wife as a surprise gift for our 20th anniversary.Please kindly send pics and prices of some of your art which are ready for immediate sale within price range $300- $1,200, i could be flexible with price. So i will hope to hear a lot more about any available piece in your inventory ready for immediate sale.

Thanks and best regards,
Anthony Coal.

Dear Anthony,
Thank you so much for your message, and I’m so pleased you are considering purchasing one of my works for your 20th anniversary! Contemporary painting really makes the perfect gift for that special someone.

I’m including a list of available works below with prices, and images are all on my web site, which I’m sure you have already seen.

“Emergency Omelette”
2015
oil on linen
36 x 46 in.
$1,100

“Taco Pocket Revelation”
2015
oil on linen
36 x 46 in.
$1,000

“Permanent Smurf Hat”
2015
oil on linen
36 x 46 in. 
$1,200

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Warmly,
Andrew

Thanks for the message, I must tell you I intend to give my wife a surprise with the immediate purchase of the piece (“Taco Pocket Revelation” 2015 oil on linen 36 x 46 in. $1,000). If you’d like to know, I’m relocating to the Philippines soon and our wedding anniversary is fast approaching. So I’m trying to gather some good stuff to make this event a surprise. Kindly email me the asking price asap.

As regarding payment,  I would like to inform you, that my wife handles the family credit card/bank  and Paypal transaction. So i would authorize a check to you for the payment as soon as i have your full name and contact address (Sunset At The Beach, 9.75” x 10” $175). Also, as soon as you receive the check and it clears your bank, my shipping agent who is also moving my personal effect will contact you to arrange shipping/pick up of the piece from you (this is to avoid my wife receiving it, if been shipped directly to my address which would ruin the surprise for this event). You both have to sign a proof of pick up at the most.

I would have handled this much differently if I’d been at home but i am actually going offshore and won’t be back for another couple of weeks, and do not have access to a lot of cash over here to expedite this transaction… trying to kill two birds with a stone. 🙂

Have a Positive Day!

Hi Anthony,
So far, my day has indeed been very positive, thank you so much! I’m pleased you have found a painting you like – “Taco Pocket Revelation” 2015 oil on linen 36 x 46 inches. That’s my favorite painting of the new series because it’s based on a true story. I can tell you about it sometime if you’re interested.

I’m a bit confused about your reference to “Sunset At the Beach” 9.75 x 10″ $175. That really came out of nowhere!

Sorry to be so brief, but I need to go add more sugar to my Kombucha mother.

Best wishes,
Andrew

Kindly send me your name and address so that i mail out the check to you

Hi Anthony,
OK will do. I just need to know if you want my home address or my studio address?

I’m going to be volunteering at the Columbia Country Cream Cheese Festival today, but I’ll get back to you as soon as possible!

My very best,
Andrew

Any one that you feel comfortable to give me so that you receive the check

Good morning, Anthony. I am sorry for the delay. There was an accident yesterday at the Columbia County Cream Cheese Festival and I was dealing with it all day. One of the clog dancers from the variety show tripped when getting off stage and knocked over a giant fiberglass cow, which fell right onto Fern Moody, the festival organizer! I had to take Fern ASAP to the ER, where she got an MRI and thankfully there are no broken bones. Unfortunately, I got a DUI on the way home.

Anyhooo… here is my address you can send the check to:
Andrew Prayzner
Andrew Prayzner Art Studio
220 36th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11232

Let me know if you need anything else!

Best wishes,
Andrew

Hope you are good. Thanks for the details which I’ve noted down, My shipping agent is due in the U.S sometime this week. So i have contacted a client of mine to issue out a check which will include my shipping agent fees to you right away.  This is done to avoid delay or any inconvenience that may arise from his part and to allow check to clear before pick up. However, courtesy demand i must first appeal to your self interest and ask for your help in remitting the overage (after deducting your fee for the piece) to the shipping agent as soon as the check clears.

I would have handled this much differently if I’d been at home but am a bit pressed for time as our anniversary is fast approaching and do not have access to a lot of cash over here to expedite this transaction… Kindly deduct any IRS tax incurred on the overage before giving the balance the shipping agent. As i do not want you to involve any of your personal funds in this transaction, that is why all fund is made available to you. As an aside, they are not sending any bill or hold you responsible for the payment of my shipping contract with them.

I am really sorry for the mix up and will appreciate if you get back to me asap to know if i can entrust you with this transaction. Kindly get back to me with your phone number so that i can easily send you a text message once the check is mailed out.

Many thanks and talk to you soon,

Hi Anthony,
I’ve had a busy day mopping up all of the cream cheese that spilled during the clog dancing accident earlier today. At fist I thought we must have had a vat of strawberry flavored cream cheese on stage, but then I realized it was blood from Fern Moody’s head wound mixed in. I’m sure glad I stopped myself from tasting it!

Thanks for the very long and totally legitimate explanation of your situation. Hey, these things happen – so I am happy to remit the overage to you once I receive the check.

Here is my cell phone number:
347-732-XXXX
I don’t always get my text messages, so would you mind emailing me, as well? Thanks a lot!

Okay thank you will let you know once check is mailed out today

All right! I’m planning on visiting Fern Moody in the hospital today to bring her some back issues of Dairy Farmer Magazine to read. I know she’s really bored over there! But I will be back home later this afternoon!

– – –

Dear Anthony,
Just wondering if you were able to send the check out today? Please let me know thanks.

Yes the check has been mailed out

OK, because I still haven’t gotten it.

It was mailed out today

Great, I’ll go out and look inside my mailbox.

You should receive it tomorrow or next

You’re right. I don’t see it in my mailbox. I’ll go look in the bushes.

Good morning  Andrew,
Hope you  are doing great. I’m very sorry the payment for the piece have remained unpaid this long. However, the check has been scheduled for delivery soon via USPS with tracking numbers:  9405501699320095455856 .

Anyway, I’d like you to have it deposited through your Bank right away, so that you can have a copy of the deposit receipt. Please note : It will clear within 24 hours, but in some exceptional cases the funds are available immediately.

A check for $2950.00 was issued, you will be deducting $1000.00 for your artwork and be giving the remainder to the private movers coming for the pick up of the artwork from you. You would please recall that I explained in my email earlier that the shipper is also helping me move some of my properties along with the piece. Specifically, he will be moving my 1932 Ford ROADSTER and some personal effect. So, the balance on the check is cover the shipping fees.

Kindly email ASAP, so I can give you the shipper’s information and instructions on how to forward the overage funds, so they can make arrangement for an appropriate time with you to commence packaging/shipping.

Thanks and I await to read from you,

Anthony Coal.

Hello Anthony,
I got confused. I was digging around behind the bushes last night with my flashlight looking for that check. I thought I found it, but it turned out to be a half-eaten bagel. I ate the rest of it.

So that explains why the check still hasn’t gotten here! Thanks for the tracking number – I see that you sent it from New York. I didn’t know you were so close by since you mentioned you live in Charlotte, NC. Would you like to come visit my studio and pick up the piece in person?

Im now in Philippines so i asked my client to mail the check to you

Oh, I see. Wow, it’s late there – almost 10:30pm. You must be getting ready to go to bed. I hope the check arrives soon so you don’t have to stay up all night. What time do you usually go to bed, Anthony?

As soon as bed calls lol. dont have a specific time

And I bet you’re still pretty jetlagged after moving from Charlotte to the Philippines amiright Anthony??

Yes thats right

What was the reason for your move, if you don’t mind my asking?
– – –
You’re right – it’s none of my business. I’m sorry to be so nosy.

Business had a contract to execute

Gotta follow that paycheck!
– – –
It looks like ye olde cheque has been delivered!

I just received a notification that it has been delivered to you. When will you be able to have the check deposited into your bank account for funds to be available.

Yes indeed, Anthony. That’s why I just emailed you to say it was delivered!

Okay when will you be having it deposited into your bank account for funds to be available?

Well let’s see… All the banks are closed for the day and first thing tomorrow I need to go pick up Fern Moody from the hospital. And right after that auditions to replace the injured clog dancer get underway and I’m one of the judges. I also need to work on the giant bagel sculpture I just started so it’s finished in time for National Bagel Day. I’m a very busy person. 

Yes i understand kindly let me know once deposited into your bank account good night

You mean you’re just now going to bed? Isn’t it 6:15 AM in the Philippines right now?
– – –
Hello Anthony. I hope you finally got some sleep! Fern Moody died, so I don’t need to pick her up from the hospital. I’m going to deposit your check first thing, in just a short while.

Im sorry about the lost i know how that feels. may her soul rest in peace. Kindly let me know once the check is deposited into your bank account.

Thanks, but I never really liked Fern Moody, between you and me. I once asked her to feed my pet parrot (also named Anthony!) while I was on vacation in South Dakota and when I got back, Anthony was dead. She said it was an accident, but I didn’t believe her.

Anyway, I just deposited your check and await your instruction!

So sorry about that when will the funds be available in your bank account?

Thank you so much. I think it’s available now, but I already have enough money in the bank to cover it, so I guess it doesn’t matter, right?

Okay i am waiting for information from the shipping company will forward it to you as soon as i get it

That sounds fine. I will be here, working on my bagel sculpture.

You will be doing money transfer to the shipping company by splitting the funds using Walmart2walmart money transfer and Money gram which both can be situated inside walmart store. This is the information you will be sending the funds to.

Name: Marco Degiusti
City: Jenks
State: Ok
Zipcode: 74037

You will send $850 via walmart2walmart money transfer and $1050 via money gram the remaining $50 will be used as the sending fee for the $850 and the $1050. How soon will you be going to do the transfer so that the pick up can be done as soon as possible.,

Well, I just ran out of sesame seeds, so I need to go to the store anyway. I can be at Walmart in about 30 minutes.

Okay thank you i will await your email Once done kindly snap the receipt given to you and send to me so that i forward it to shipping company

Will do, Anthony!

Thank you so much
– – –
Has it been sent?

No! HA HA HA!!!

???

!!!

This isn’t Andrew! This is Fern Moody, and I have your check!

Dont get you

Andrew came to pick me up from the hospital today, and he thought I was dead, but I was just holding my breath to trick him! He was so shocked that he dropped his phone and your check! I’m the one who has been writing to you all day!!!

– – –

Anthony, oh my gosh I am so sorry! I told you Fern was crazy. I just showed up with the cops and got my phone back from her, as well as your check. Fern was covered with blueberry cream cheese – it was so freaky!

I have just wired the money to you, so you should be getting it soon. Again I am so sorry for the chaos!

-Andrew

– – –

Did you receive the money?

which money?

The money I wired you after I got the check back from Fern Moody…

wire to wer?

Huh? I sent it to Marco Degiusti.

where is the receipt for the payment you made so that i forward to Marco for the pick up

I didn’t get one. Maybe I did it wrong? Sorry, I’ve never sent a wire transfer before.  

Okay

So what should I do?

To what? You never sent any money so what are you trying to insinuate? And i didnt give you an information for wire and if truly u sent the money you will be giving a receipt

Yes you did. You told me to go to Walmart and wire the money to Marco Degiusti. And then I bought sesame seeds. 

I guess I just did it wrong. Look it’s been a really stressful day after what happened with Fern. And it took me an hour to get all that blueberry cream cheese out of my hair!

I will try again to send the money to you tomorrow.

OK

Thank you for your patience.

– – –

Do you want me to wire the money to the same person today? Do you want me to send it to Marco Degiusti?

Send it to the same person and snap the receipt and send to me

OK, I am going to do it right after I finish dropping my kids off at
the pool. Stand by.

ok

Do you like movies about gladiators, Anthony?