Stephen Estes

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Ghost-writing for Don Voisine

Morning,

I am Stephen and i need your services as a Artist,want to make a surprise gift for my wife birthday who really love Contemporary painting.Are you an abstract,nature or figurative artist get back to if you are available so we can proceed.

Awaits your favorable response.

Regards,
Steph.

Good Morning, Stephen.

Thank you so much for your message, and I’m so pleased you are considering purchasing one of my works for wife birthday. I used to be a nature Artist but now I’m a abstract Artist. I think wife will really like my Art because it’s really festive and colorful. Would you like me to send you some suggestions to consider?

It looks forward to hearing from you.

Warmly,
Don

Yes send me some suggestion and let me pick.

Absolutely! I will send a list of available works shortly.

But first, do you go by the name “Mary” or “Stephen”? I am sorry if I misunderstood from your previous message.

I hope you are having a wonderful National Butterscotch Pudding Day!

All the best,
Don

Stephen and i will be waiting for it.

Oh, so you are Mary, Stephen’s wife? I apologize for my confusion.

I thought the painting was going to be a surprise, but I certainly can’t blame you for wanting to pick out your own birthday present. There’s a lot of ugly  art out there- am I right Mary?

Am Stephen and i just use my wife name Mary in my email.

OK, no problem at all! I also sometimes refer to myself in the third person. My friends think I’m a nut, but they’re all philistines.

Here is a list of available works you may choose for wife birthday. There are images on my web site, which I’m sure you have already seen:

“Emergency Omelette”
2015
60 X 32 in.
oil on wood

“Taco Pocket Revelation”
2015
60 X 32 in.
oil on wood

“Armpit Crystal Odyssey”
2015
60 X 32 in.
oil on wood

“Permanent Smurf Hat”
2015
60 X 32 in.
oil on wood

All of these paintings are $4,200 plus shipping. Please let Don know if there’s one you think Mary would like best.

Sincerely,
Don

Can you send me in picture also i will send 50% deposit first and remaining when am back

The pictures are all on my web site. Where are you going? Anywhere interesting?

Best,
Don

I dont have your website

Oh sorry. Here it is:
http://donvoisine.com

I don’t know if my assistant, Chauncey, uploaded the images of the works I mentioned, but the ones on the site are all available, so just let me know which one you want for wife birthday. The price is the same for all of them: $4,200 plus shipping.

Best,
Don

I like this and I work as humanitarian and volunteer so i do travel a lot presently i shuttle between Nepal and Australia to help the victim of Earthquake and fire but am due to be back by October and i want you to get it done prior to our arrival,You will get a deposit of 50% and when am back you will get the balance.

“Armpit Crystal Odyssey” 2015, 60 X 32 in. oil on wood

Wow, that is really impressive! It’s great that you are doing this important, charitable work in Australia and Nepal. If I may say so, Mary sounds like a lucky lady to have such a generous husband, and to be getting the gift of Contemporary Art for wife birthday.

I am pleased you have chosen “Armpit Crystal Odyssey” 2015, 60 x 32 inches for Mary. I know she will like it a lot. Please let me know how you would like to proceed with the transaction.

All my best,
Don

So let me know the total cost and payment will be through check.

Will do, Stephen! How do you want me to ship the painting, “Armpit Crystal Odyssey” 2015, 60 x 32 inches? FedEx? UPS? I will have to get a quote from the shipper to calculate the total price. Also, for my records, is your last name the same as your wife’s?

My last name Estes and i can have it pick up from you place also how much is the painting

Ah, well I was wondering if you and your wife had the same last name because that would make you Stephen Stephens!

The cost of the painting is $4,196.13 USD, but that’s negotiable. I am trying to get rid of a bunch of artwork in my studio so I can install a large-scale jungle gym for my cat, Brian. So let me know your best offer.

I told you my name is Stephen Estes and i just use my wife name in the email and is there a problem with that,am willing to go by $3800 and you will get a deposit to reserve it and balance before October 30

No, Stephen, of course there is no problem. You only told me your first name, however, and your email says “Mary Stephens” so I just wondered if your name was Stephen Stephens. I’m very sorry if I upset you. I will make a note that your last name is Estes. 

$3,800 seems like a fair price for “Armpit Crystal Odyssey” so you have a deal. I’ll start packing it for you to pick up, and Brian will be very pleased to know he is getting his jungle gym. A check will be just fine. What could possibly go wrong?

Best,
Don

Ok and you will get a deposit of 50% now so send me your name and address with direct cell number where the check will be mail to.

My name is Don Voisine! You contacted me don’t you remember?

I know but i need to know which name you want on check maybe company name and address where it will be mail to with cell number.

Am waiting for your details.

Hello, Stephen. I apologize for the delay, but I’ve been dealing with an absolute cat-astrophe! I was making some hilarious videos of my cat Brian riding a Roomba, but then it short-circuited and Brian’s tail caught on fire. I had to take him to the vet and have been there all afternoon. Brian has to wear a cumbersome bandage on his tail and he hates it. He says he’d rather they had just cut it off. Ugh.

In any case, below is the address where you can send the check:
Don Voisine
Don Voisine Art Studio
47 Hall Street
Brooklyn, NY 11205
+1 347-731-XXXX

Please let me know if you need anything else!

Namaste,
Don

– – –

Did you receive my address? Here it is again in case you accidentally deleted it or something:
Don Voisine
47 Hall Street
Brooklyn, NY 11205
+1 347-731-XXXX

Blessings
Don

I got it.

OK, fantastic. Well you need to let me know if you’re still interested in the painting because I have someone else from Mississippi interested in it. I await your reply.

Don

– – –

Do you still want the painting? The painting still wants you.           

Morning,

How are you doing today, guess fine? It was brought to my notice by my sponsor that the check has been sent to you but there was a mistake with the amount on the check, the amount on check is $6500 so when you receive it go ahead and deposit it and after your account is credited you will take the $1900 the total cost i will give you instruction on how to send the difference.

In spite of this, The difference will be deposited into the party organizer for my wife birthday which is a surprise and i will really appreciate if you can do this for me,as i told you am away helping the victim of Earthquake in Nepal and fire in Australia.

I don’t want us to waste time so proceed when your account is credited. Am sorry for the inconvenience this might have cause you.

Awaits your mail soonest.

Hello, Stephen. I guess I’m doing ok, I guess… considering what happened today. I was taking my cat, Brian, to PetSmart to let him pick out his new kitty jungle gym and while we were there he was bitten by a Maltese Shi-Tsu mix. And guess where it bit him – yep, right on his tail, which is all bandaged up from the Roomba accident.

Well that just sent him into a total frenzy and he knocked over a cage full of hamsters and the next thing you know they’re running all over the store and Brian is chasing them, along with all the other customers’ pets. Fortunately I was able to grab Brian and get him into the car but then he was still so freaked out that he jumped on my head and scratched me up pretty bad. I just put neosporin all over my face and now I look like a glazed donut. 

Anyway I’m happy to send back the extra money your silly sponsor sent. Jeez what were they thinking? But don’t worry I will handle it. I’ll look out for the check and let you know as soon as it arrives and everything will work out so you can still keep the surprise for wife birthday.

Ok i will give you account in which you will deposit the difference to in cash.

I am very much looking forward to doing that.

Hey Stephen,
Do you know when the check will arrive? Have to take my cat back to the vet this week and don’t want to miss it.

By tomorrow or wednesday

Great, can you tell me whether you sent it through FedEx, UPS, DHL, or ASS? I need to post a note for them to call me and I want to make sure I put the right thing on there. Thanks.

What ASS? And they will deliver to you.

American Shipping Service. It’s new.
– – –
I’m still waiting for the check. Did you send it yet?

I will check with USPS and get back to you

fbiwleahli  wubhgwrn gwno hwfuir
vhwauivh fhi meow
– – –
I apologize for that last message, Stephen. My cat, Brian, walked across my computer keyboard while I was out of the room dressing my head wounds and he somehow pressed the “send” key, too! He must be pretty smart!

By the way, are you still interested in the painting?

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