Hello Benjamin, I’m doing fine, thank you for asking. Yes, I have several pieces available. Is there one you saw on my web site, or do you want me to suggest a few for you to consider?
Thanks for getting back to me. I must tell you I intend to give my wife a surprise with the immediate purchase of the piece. Also If you’d like to know, I’m relocating to the Dublin, Ireland soon and our wedding anniversary is fast approaching by January. So I’m trying to gather some good stuff to make this event a surprise one. I’m interested in the piece Major Merger I’m pretty sure she will love it. Kindly confirm the price so I can overnight the payment to you today
As regarding shipping, you don’t have to worry about that in order not to leave any clue to my wife for the surprise. As soon as you receive and cash the check, my shipping agent (who is also moving my personal effect) will contact you to arrange pick-up.
I would have come to purchase the piece myself but, at the moment, am on training voyage to the North Atlantic Ocean (I’m an ocean engineer) with new hires who are fresh from graduate school and won’t be back for another couple of weeks. I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Thanks
PS: In the meantime, kindly get back to me with your full name (you want the check payable to) cell phone no. and contact address (preferably for UPS not P.O box) where a check can be mailed to, so I can get the check prepared and have it mailed out to you right away.
Hello Benjamin, or should I say “Ahoy”? I hope all is well out there in the Atlantic Ocean!
Thanks for your interest in my painting “Major Merger” but unfortunately, that one isn’t available. It’s actually in a really interesting group show right now called “Alternative Facts” (great title, right?) and I can’t get it from the gallery in time for your anniversary.
Would you be interested in another painting, such as “Chipotle Resurrection”? It’s basically the same as the other one, except there’s a part that looks a lot like Jonbenet Ramsey in the lower left hand corner.
The price is $2700, so let me know if you are interested in that one! Thanks, and take care out there.
Good to hear from you. I’m interested in Chipotle Resurrection can you send me some pictures please?
Sure, here’s a picture of “Chipotle Resurrection.” I think your wife will like it even more than the other one. Let me know what you decide!
(insert pic of one of my paintings, not titled “Chipotle Resurrection”)
OMG! I love the piece and I would be glad to purchase it at the asking price Kindly get back to me with your full name, address and cell phone # so I can send out the check today. Thank You
I’m so glad you like it, Benjamin! And I hope your wife likes it, too. You mentioned your anniversary is in January – does this mean you’re late buying her a gift? I sure hope you’re not in the doghouse, if you know what I mean haha!
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I am sorry for that last message, Benjamin! I know it is none of my business. Please let me know what information you need from me so we can proceed with the sale of “Chipotle Resurrection.”
Hi Jim. I am sorry for just getting back to you now. Yes the anniversary was supposed to be in January but it was shifted to March now. Get back to me with the information so that the payment can be mailed today.
So you postponed your anniversary because you’re on a training voyage at sea? Great idea. I once postponed my annual Easter egg hunt because I broke my coccyx in a terrible water sports accident. What a fiasco!
What information do you need to send the payment? I just need to know whether you want my home address or my studio address? Please advise. Thx.
Yes the anniversary was postponed… I would prefer your studio address… Your full name, address and cell phone #
Too bad you couldn’t have put your wife in a suitcase and brought her on board with you! Did you consider doing that, Benjamin?
Here is the information you requested for sending the payment:
Brooklyn, NY 11238 (425) 778-0050
All the best,
Hahaha funny you.. I’ll try that one day
I was being serious, Benjamin. By the way, I will be out of the studio tomorrow, so my assistant, Pepper, will be answering my emails. Please direct all of your inquiries to Pepper. I need to repair one of the hives at my bee farm. Thx.
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Hello Mr. Cook,
This is Pepper, Jim’s studio assistant. Jim is out today, but he asked if you could send a tracking number for the check so we know when to expect it. Thank you.
– – –
Hello Mr. Cook,
This is Pepper again. Jim is in the hospital today as there was an accident at the bee farm this weekend and he was stung on his coccyx. I think he will be back in the studio tomorrow, but I will let you know. I have to go out now and buy him some ointment.
Is there a tracking number for the check? This is the second time I have asked for this information.
Good morning to you. How was your night and your beautiful day going? I am so sorry for just getting back to you now. The mail would be deliver to you latest by Thursday. Here is the USPS tracking # 9405501699320109376283 Kindly look out for the mail and keep me updated. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.
Good morning, Mr. Cook. It’s Pepper again. My night was fine, but I had a weird dream that Jim and I were living on a farm together and I accidentally ran him over with a lawn mower. I wonder what it means.
Thank you for the tracking number. I will monitor the progress and keep you posted.
Jim is still in the hospital and it turns out he is allergic to bee stings, so I will be handling this transaction unless he recovers unexpectedly. But I went to visit him last night, and let’s just say he probably won’t be back anytime soon.
Hi, Thanks for getting back to me. And I am sorry to hear about Jim, I hope he gets better real soon. As for your dream you have to be very careful so that the dream won’t come to past. Would you to be able to handle the transaction since the check was issued in Jim’s Name. I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Thanks.
Do not worry, Mr. Cook. I don’t even have a lawn mower haha haha ha. But there is a blender in Jim’s studio that has a really sharp blade. Hmm…
I am happy to handle the transaction in Jim’s absence, and I can even bring the check to him at the hospital so he can deposit it online with his phone.
I’m working on administrative projects here at Jim’s studio this week, so I can also prepare the painting for you. I believe the one you wanted is called “Chipotle Resurrection.” Is that correct?
That is correct… You can deposit the check at the ATM or take it to bank and have it deposited in Jim’s account and the funds will be available immediately.
That sounds easy enough.
By the way, what does an Ocean Engineer do? It sounds like an interesting job. I’ve always loved the ocean, especially tuna fish sandwiches!
Their isn’t much to tell about my job As an ocean engineer We responsible for the design, plan and development of devices used by oceanographers and marine biologists. Using both engineering principles and a knowledge of the ocean environment, we create instruments that can stand up to being submerged in salt water, withstand storms and stay at sea for long periods of time. We also fix and maintain equipment.
You’re right, that sounds really boring. But all I get to do as Jim’s studio assistant is answer the phone, pick up his dry-cleaning and organize his dumb slides, so it’s not much better. Who still uses slides anyway?? I’m looking forward to the day I can quit and go on a Caribbean Cruise or something…
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Dear Mr. Cook,
I tracked the check you sent, but for some reason it couldn’t be delivered. What should we do? Jim is still in the hospital. Thx.
Thanks for getting back to me. I just tracked now and I realize that USPS was unable to deliver to the Studio address that Jim gave to me. Here is the address that the check was sent to 349B Waverly Ave Brooklyn, NY 11238 You can call USPS tomorrow morning and and ask them to reroute the mail to the alternative address or you inform them that the mail will be picked up at the nearest USPS facility. Thank You
Good morning, Mr. Cook. I will go to the post office today and see if they have the check, but first I need to pick Jim up from the hospital. I’ll let you know when we get back.
Good morning to you. How is Jim and I believe He’s better now? I just tracked the mail now and it says that the customer has requested that the Postal Service redeliver this item is that true? I need you to get back to me ASAP, have the check deposited today and it will get cleared between 1-2 business day but in some exceptional cases it could get cleared instantly. And as soon as the fund is available deduct the due amount All you have to do is to visit any WELLSFARGO branch and make a cash deposit of $3,000 to the shipping agent information below:
Bank Name: Wellsfargo
Bank Account Name: Janice Shaw
Account #: 8255822424 Routing #: 064003768
Recipient 1700 Florence Road, Savannah TN 38372
And get back to me with the copy of the deposit slip ASAP so I can forward it to the shipping in order for them to schedule the pickup date and time.
Hello, Mr. Cook. I guess it depends on what you mean by “better.” Let’s just say that you don’t need to worry about Jim anymore.
Yes, I have requested that the check be redelivered, but I still have not received it. It should arrive either today or tomorrow and I will you know as soon as I get it. You can be sure of that.
OK no problem… Let me know as soon as you receive it.
Hello Mr. Cook. I hope you are having a wonderful International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day so far!
I just went to the post office and they said that the check has been returned to you because it was not deliverable as addressed. I did some detective work and discovered that Jim mistakenly gave you his old home address, which is why the postman was confused. No one lives there anymore, and it is actually an artisanal vaseline store now.
Please resend the check to this address and I will be sure to sign for it, myself:
Brooklyn, NY 11205
How are you doing today? I just want to inform you that the check was overnight-ed and you should receive it today. Here is the tracking # 9470101699320029508630 and I would like you to keep me posted as soon as you receive it. Thank You
Thank you, Mr. Cook. I will certainly keep an eye out for it today. By the way, how is everything out there in the North Atlantic?
Have you ever been to the South Pacific? Have you ever seen the musical “South Pacific”? I’m sorry to bother you while you’re probably working. I’ve just been so lonesome around here since Jim has been… gone.
Hello, I’ve been pretty busy and I’m sorry for just responding to your email now. Yes I am still at North Atlantic. I just tracked the mail now and it was delivered to your mailbox today by 7:08 pm March 1, 2017 Kindly confirm the the receipt of the mail. Thank You
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
The mail was delivered to the address have you received it?
Who is this?
This is Benjamin Cook. I don’t seems to understand you guys… Am I communicating with Jim or Pepper?
This is Pepper.
OK, I’m Benjamin Cook who is purchasing Jim’s works “Chipotle Resurrection.” And you’ve been communicating with me for the past few days now so why are you talking to me as if you talking to a stranger?
The payment was delivered to this address: XXXXXXX. Brooklyn, NY 11205 And you are to take the check to the bank today and have it deposited. The funds will be available immediately, deduct the due amount remit the overage to my private mover. Please I would like to talk to Jim also.
I am afraid that will not be possible, Mr. Cook. You know, I could go somewhere real nice with $5,700. I’ll bet the South Pacific is lovely this time of year…
Why not possible? You better start running now. I’ll find you
It will not be possible for you to talk to Jim because he is sleeping – and he will be for a very long time! Ha Ha Ha!!
You must be mad
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Benjamin, this is Jim. I’m writing to you from the hospital. Pepper changed the password on my studio email address and I can’t log in. Has she been writing to you? Don’t trust her!
Hi Jim, I’ve been in touch with Pepper for the past few days and I don’t seems to understand her. The check was delivered to your address yesterday at XXXXXXXX Brooklyn, NY 11205 I sent her email this morning to confirm if she has the check instead she was acting up as if we never communicated. Thank You
She has the check of $5,700 in your name…. $2,700 for the piece Chipotle Resurrection and $3,000 for my private mover who will be handling the pickup of the piece and shipping of my personal effect to Dublin, Ireland.
You mustn’t trust her! She came to the hospital several days ago to see me – she walked in dressed as a nurse and she was holding a hypodermic needle. I just woke up this morning and my blackberry was gone, so now I’m writing to you from a friend’s laptop. I called the Studio Assistant Referral Service (SARS) and they’ve never even heard of her!
She has been communicating with me for the past few days and also you recommended her that you won’t be able and she’s the one that will be responding to my emails and since then she has been in touch with me. Right now she has my check of $5,700.00 How am I going to get the piece and $3,000 to my private mover that will come for the pickup of the and shipping of my personal effect to Europe?
I am going to try to find out where she is. I am so sorry about this, Benjamin. It’s just so hard to find good help these days. I will update you on the situation shortly!
Check your bank account online and see if she has deposited the check. Maybe she has your credit card, atm and other access to your internet banking. She must be a crook.
I think you’re right! I should have known something funny was going on, the way she wore a ski mask to work everyday and refused to take it off. I will check my bank account now.
She must have cashed the check using your ID because the check was sent at first but she was unable to receive the mail and it was resent again and delivered to your address yesterday.
I think you may be right! I just checked my wallet and my license is gone. She must have grabbed it while I was unconscious. This is simply terrible!
Did she say anything to give you any clue where she was going?
I have no idea… I knew nothing about her you said she’s your partner
It is my own fault for being too trusting. If I had only seen the red flags. I feel like I’ve ruined your anniversary, Benjamin!
And now that I look back, I don’t even think that was a bee that stung me – it was Pepper in a bee costume! I knew that bee looked too big to be real!