Gillian Wiseman

Garlic-Remedy_Main

Ghost-writing for Carol Salmanson…

Good Day,
How is everything with you? I picked interest in your artwork and decided to write you. I will like to know if your artwork can be purchased and shipped internationally?. I can email the artwork of interest and payment will be completed in full once you confirm my purchase order with a quotation.

Kindly let me know when you are in office and ready to take my artwork order also let me know if you accept either Visa Card or Master Card for payment furthermore you can email me your recently updated website or art price list in your response.

Best Regards,
Gillian

Hello Gillian,
Thank you so much for your message on Friday, and I apologize for my delayed response. I never do any business on Friday the 13th! I know it sounds silly, but I have been really paranoid ever since a very unfortunate incident in 1994 involving an escalator.

To answer your question, yes I am happy to ship artwork to you internationally. Where do you live? I am attaching a list of available works with prices, and I would be happy to take your artwork order any day this week. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Yours,
Carol

Hi Carol,
Good to hear from you i have looked up the list and images of works you attached and I am okay with the cost of this one therefore i will like to proceed with the purchase and i want you to get the shipping cost so you can sum everything up and let me know all total required to be paid to acquire the piece FRAGMENTARY EVIDENCE 4 LEDs, wire, reflective sheeting, gel filters, plexi 14″H x 10″W x 2.5″D | with Sintra backing, 20”H X 16″W x 3.375″D 2015 $2,950

On the shipping one will have to pay additional fee at the delivery point here in Macedonia because they will never bring to ones house. courier like Fedex, UPS,DHL are not worth it here especially USPS and TNT all of them are not rendering good service here probably because they already known very well. You can contact this courier http://www.Coastexpressfreight.com (Info@coastexpressfreight.com) as well with the weight and cost of the artwork for the shipping and insurance to my address because they ship and deliver safely without one paying any other money before collecting the goods unlike some other courier where it will not be delivered to your address rather you will have to go to their office to pick it up and when you get there you will be told to pay other money before collecting it. I will be looking forward to hearing from you asap.

Thanks

Shipping Address:
10 Blvd. Koco Racin,
1000 Skopje, Macedonia

Hi Gillian,
I am so pleased you found an artwork you like so quickly. I see that Gillian Wiseman is a woman who knows what she wants! I’m sorry I was not able to write you back earlier – I’ve been running around all over town, trying to find the 30 pounds of garlic I needed before sundown (don’t ask!). But now that it’s nighttime, I am not setting foot outside the house for anything!

Thank you for saving me the trouble of finding an courier. I am going to contact Coast Express Freight first thing in the morning to get a quotation. I don’t think I will be able to do it tonight as there is some important work I need to attend to around the house – windows that need boarding up, etc. But I will let you know as soon as I hear back from Coast Express Freight tomorrow!

Blessings,
Carol

Okay i will be looking forward to hearing from you.

Best,
Gillian

Good morning, Gillian. Yes, I promise to take care of the quotation today, but I did not sleep very well last night so I am going to have my assistant, Coco, handle it.

What happened was there was a bat – or something – in the house last night and I spent hours chasing it around with a broom! I finally gave up and I have no idea where it went. The front door was wide open when I woke up, though. I have called animal control, but I live out in the woods and it sometimes takes a while for anyone to reach me.

Coco will be here soon and will help me continue the search. Coco is always very prompt. And then Coco will contact Coast Express Freight regarding your shipment. Thank you for your patience!

Best,
Carol

– – –

Dear Ms. Wiseman,

This is Coco, Carol’s assistant. Carol is resting. She asked me to let you know that I have contacted Coast Express Freight with a quotation request for shipping your artwork order. I will let you know the cost as soon as we hear back from them.

Thank you.
Coco

MESSAGE FROM TOTALLY FAKE COURIER SERVICE GILLIAN SENT ME TO:

Dear Customer,
Thank you for choosing CoastExpress Freight, We guarantee safe delivery of an order to our customer within 1-2 workdays. You do not need to drop off the package anywhere it will be picked up from your designated address and delivered to that of the consignee. The shipper pays for the shipment before we schedule the pick up Our charges are inclusive of Packing, Custom Fees, Duties, Insurance, Handling and Taxes. We accept payment through Bank Wire Transfer. We shall let you have the payment information and requirements as soon as you are ready for the shipment.

Total Quote for Service:
1 – 2 days delivery: $1,025.00 USD 3 – 5 days delivery: $874.00 USD Packing, Pick Up, Custom fee, Shipment Door to Door, Insurance

 

Hello Ms. Wiseman,
This is Coco again (Carol’s assistant). She is still resting. Below is the quotation from Coast Express Freight with the shipping costs. 1 – 2 days delivery: $1,025.00 USD and 3 – 5 days delivery: $874.00 USD. Which service would you like us to use?

Best,
Coco

Hi Coco,
I just read through your messages now and the shipping cost 3 – 5 days delivery: $874.00 USD is okay by me due to what we face with customs and delivery of goods here. I would like to know when you will be in the office so that i can let you have the credit card to run for the payment Also please let me know the merchant you will be using to run the credit card so that i can inform my bank that you will be running my card. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Best,
Gillian

Hello Gillian,
It’s Carol again – I’m back online, but Coco is getting ready to take me to the doctor. I was wondering why I was feeling so strange yesterday and then I realized I was bitten by the bat that got into my house the other night! I just found two small bite marks on my neck.

We should be back by noon today (New York time). I don’t want to be outside too long anyway because my eyes are feeling very sensitive to the daylight for some reason.

Please let me know what the next steps are in processing your credit card number. Which merchant do you suggest I use for that? My secretary, Terry, will be here at the office wile I’m gone. If you send me the information, Terry can pass it along to me. Thx.

Sincerely,
Carol

 

Hi Carol,
Sorry to hear about that please let me know the name of the merchant you will be using so that i can let you have my credit card details today Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Best,
Gillian

Hello Ms. Wiseman,
This is Terry, Carol’s secretary. I’m here at the office while Carol and Coco are at the doctor. Which merchant do you want us to use for the credit card? We can use whichever merchant you prefer. I need to make a quick trip to Staples to buy more staples, but I’ll be right back so let me know. Thanks.

Terry

 

Please tell me the merchant you use so i can know. Thanks.

Hi Ms. Wiseman,
I don’t think Carol has a preference about which merchant to use. Is there one you recommend? If not, we will have to wait until she and Coco get back from the doctor. I don’t really know much about it.

I can’t go to Staples right now because my car won’t start and it just started raining.

Best,
Terry (Carol’s secretary)

– – –

Hi Gillian,
This is Carol – I’m back from the doctor now and fortunately everything is fine. In fact, I feel even better than before all of this happened. I have Coco and Terry working on some projects – disposing of all the garlic and covering up the windows with paper – so I can work with you on the credit card payment.

I enjoy using this merchant for processing credit cards: http://www.flagshipprocessing.com Will that work for you? If not, can you suggest another merchant?

Is Macedonia anywhere near Transylvania?

Thanks,
Carol

Okay here is the credit card to run. i want you to run the card now and let me know.
Master Card: 54241811XXXXXXXX Expiry Date: 11/17 Cvv: XXX Zipcode: 92651

Please run the card now and get back to me

Best,
Gillian

– – –

Did you get the CC i emailed you? please let me know.

Gillian

Yes, I received it.

Carol

 

Please let me know if you have processed it, because of my credit limit i would like you to run $1000 on the card first and then the balance after that has gone through Looking forward to hearing from you soon Best Gillian

– – –

Have you processed the card?

Gillian,
I’m sorry for the delay. There has been a terrible accident here at the studio. I will explain later but I really need to deal with the situation here right now.

Carol

– – –

Hi Gillian,
Did you receive my last email? Do you still want me to run the credit card?

Yes

OK, I’m going to run the credit card for $8,971.03 USD. Are you sure you want to do that? It seems like a lot of money for a piece of artwork.

Besos,
Carol

No i think you do not know what you are talking about.

What do you mean? Is that not the correct amount? I’m confused.

Best,

Carol

How?

What?

give me the brek down how you got the figure

Well I guess I added everything up wrong. I am sorry – it has not been easy around here ever since Coco and Terry had their accident. I have to do everything myself! Can you please just tell me the correct amount you said you wanted to charge on the card?

Dont you know the cost of your art?

Terry and Coco handled that.

Ask them.

Let’s put it this way – they can’t exactly talk at the moment.

Then cancel the order.

Ah, I found it in my email history – $2,950 + $874 for shipping? Is that correct?

Yes that is the correct amount and i want you to run my card for $1000 first because of my credit limit and get back to me so that i can let you know how to run the balance.

OK fine. Did you even read in my email to you that there was a terrible accident here? Do you even care, Gillian?  

Here’s what happened: Coco was working quietly on the coffin sculpture project we started yesterday and then suddenly came at me with one of the wooden dowels we had in the studio. Coco had sharpened the tip of it just like a spear. I simply pushed Coco away but I guess I didn’t realize my own strength because Coco went sailing out the window and landed on a sundial. Then I bit Terry on the neck and I guess it was pretty deep so that was the end of that.

And then I called your bank and reported you for credit card fraud.

Gregory Glasson

wet-cat-10

Hello Jim,
How is everything going on with you? Please do you still have this your beautiful below work available for purchase? The work I am talking about are below..

Welkin oil on canvas 17 x 22 in. 2012 & Crypt Encryption oil on canvas 14 x 22 in. 2011.

If the work is still available for purchase, please email me more details about it, the price and the availability.

Cheers,
Gregory

Good morning, Gregory.

Everything going on with me is great, thank you for asking.

I still have one of the paintings you inquired about: “Welkin” oil on canvas, 17 x 22 in. 2012 (the other one was sold to someone in Lithuania). Are you interested in purchasing it? The price is $2,600 plus shipping, but please bear in mind that I decided to change the name of this painting. Moving forward, please refer to it as “Bellybutton Makeover” oil on canvas, 17 x 22 in. 2012. Thanks.

Let me know if you need any more information from me. Have a great day!

Best,
Jim

Dear Jim,

Thank you for your email and more information about “Welkin”.

I am purchasing this for my self and my family purpose, I know my wife will definitely like it because she like everything about Art. Please email me more details I need to know about the pieces.

Concerning the payment. I am based in New Jersey.. The payment I am 100% sure about is to send you a check for the total cost.

I will be expecting your email concerning this..

Cheers,
Gregory

Good morning, Gregory. I hope your day is getting off to a better start than mine has. My Vitamix just exploded and there is kale juice literally all over the cats.

In response to your request for more info, here is all you need to know about the pieces:

1)  Crypt Encryption – not available, in Lithuania, don’t worry about it.

2)  Welkin – no longer called “Welkin,” now called “Bellybutton Makeover,” very important.

3)  Total cost for “Bellybutton Makeover” oil on canvas, 17 x 22, 2012 is $2,600 plus shipping.

How do you want it shipped? FedEx? An art shipper? I will need to get a quote for delivery, so please send me your zip code in New Jersey.

Sorry to be so brief, but I need to go wipe down the cats before the kale dries. Thanks!

Best,
Jim

Dear Jim,
Concerning the payment, I want you to understand the easy and safe payment I can provide to make everything more quick and smooth because I want it to be delivered in my destination in time.

Concerning the shipping and delivery I will handle the delivery and pay the delivery fees by adding it on the same check which am going to issue, You don’t need to stress your self concerning running here and there for the shipment purpose.

My concern about appointing a good secure shipping company for the delivery is because I want the delivery to be safe to my destination without any damages or lost which has already happen in the past using Fed Ex and UPS.

My Skype id is gregoryglasson1 add me on your Skype list or send me your Skype id and I will add you for more discussion.

If you don’t have Skype id kindly go to www.skype.com and register with Skype and download it.

I will be expecting your reply back with the below information for the check..

Name on check:
Your address:
Your phone number:

Cheers,
Gregory

Dear Gregory,
I’m afraid I do not know what skype is. Would you mind explaining it to me? It sounds like a type of sea fish, haha!

Yours,
Jim

* * *

I must apologize for my lack of technical know-how, Gregory. You must think I live in a cave. I appreciate your patience!

I spoke with my assistant, Coco, and he helped me to install Skype onto my computer. Coco says my user name is “Thetan_2000” so feel free to add me or whatever you call it. Thank you and so sorry again for my confusion!

All the best,
Jim

Jim,
I have sent you add request, fix a time you will be available on Skype for conversation.

Gregory

Gregory,
I will be available Sunday, May 31 between 5:05 pm and 6:30 pm EST. Will be expecting your call.

Jim

Jim,
You have not accepted my request on Skype, so calling or chatting with you by that time will not work out.

Gregory

Dear Gregory,
I apologize, but I cannot figure out how to accept your sklype, and Coco is off today so I have no one here to help me. Also, my internet connection here at the compound is very slow so I don’t even think it will work. Is there any way we can proceed with regular e-mail?

Have an enlightened day.

Jim

OK

Great, thank you.

And I just want to make sure you are reading my e-mails carefully to avoid any confusion. Please confirm that this is the painting you want:
“Bellybutton Makeover” oil on canvas, 17 x 22, 2012

I need to be certain you understood that it is no longer called “Welkin” because I am going to make a new painting called “Welkin” and I don’t want it to be confused with “Bellybutton Makeover” when Coco takes inventory.

Please get back to me with your confirmation and I will send you the info you requested.

Thanks,
Jim
Yes, I understand that and I have confirmed it.

Very good.

Also, you mentioned that your wife likes everything about Art. Is this perhaps a surprise for her? I hope you don’t mind my asking, but I just had an idea I think you will like.

Yes it’s.

Fantastic. I was thinking it would be nice if I gift-wrapped it for her. I have a special way of doing it I think you will like. What do you think?

* * *

Do you still want the painting? Coco wrapped it up all nice for you.

11412279_10153042712575958_2540267424742957608_n

James Kelvin

multi-generation-family-celebrating-thanksgiving-28082817

Re: Custom-Built Walnut Desk for sale

Are you the direct seller and what is your asking price?

The desk is $600 and it is at my mom’s house in Greenville. (I live in New York). She can show it to you if you would like me to put you in touch with her.

I so much appreciate your response to my earlier mail. I wish to let you know that I’m satisfied with the condition. Like I said there is no doubt I’m going to purchase it. Therefore I want you to consider it sold by withdrawing the advert from craigslist. Note that you will not be responsible for shipping and handling. My Shipping Company will come to your location for pick up. Kindly provide me with the address where it will be picked up so that i can forward it to the Shipping Company to calculate the cost of pick up for me. Please get back to me as soon as possible so that i can proceed with the payment via PayPal.So get back to me with the following details:

Your Full Name:
The Pick Up Address including Zip Code:
Your PayPal email address for the payment.

Thanks and in anticipation of your response.

Best Regards.

Hello James,
First, I would like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving today!

Secondly, I wanted to let you know we had a little surprise yesterday that changes my offer slightly. Our cat, Samantha, had a litter of kittens!! And you will never guess where… that’s right, inside the desk!!! But don’t worry: fortunately, she had them on a pile of old Southern Living magazines we were keeping in one of the drawers, so there is no afterbirth on the wood.

543107_10151172601380958_1367989477_n

So, my offer to you is this: I can include the litter of 4 kittens at no extra cost. They really are cute (I’m attaching a picture). And truthfully, we are a little worried to move them out of the desk at this point since they are so small! It would really be best for everyone if you had the desk picked up with the kittens in it.

I know this is an unusual situation!! But please consider adopting Samantha’s babies along with the desk, and let me know what you decide. Thank you, James!!!

Thank you very much for the response. Happy Thanksgiving Day. I will be happy to buy it. Note that you will not be responsible for shipping and handling. My shipping company will come to your location for pick up. Kindly provide me your name and full address so i can forward it to the shipping company to calculate the cost of pick up for me. Do get back to me as soon as possible with your paypal account so that i can proceed with the payment via PayPal.

Sincerely,
James

“May your troubles be less, your blessings more and nothing but happiness comes through your door”

Hello James,
Thank you for your Thanksgiving greetings!!! I’m glad you are still interested in purchasing the desk! I just wanted to make sure you saw my note about the kittens? We want them to find a good home, but if you are not interested that is fine. We will get them out of there somehow!!

I actually do not have a paypal account, but I can set that up tomorrow. Right now I have to get back to my turkey. I’m cooking a big one this year and it’s a lot of work! Are you having turkey today? Or are you a vegetarian? Have you ever been to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving?? I bet that would really be something!!

Looking forward to your response re: kittens/desk!!

Kind regards,
Jim

– – –

Good day, James. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. Are you still interested in buying the desk? I need to know whether or not to set up my paypal account. I assume you do not want the kittens?

– – –

Jo Emission to me:

Some one is using my e mail address to inquire about your desk. Have had about a dozen like you.

Sent from my iPad

Barbara

IMG_1622

Re: Custom-Built Walnut Desk – $600

Hello, would you be available to show it anytime this week or by weekend?  I’m hearing impaired so email is preferred as i am always with my computer. Email back, Thanks.

Barbara.

Hi Barbara,

The desk is at my mom’s house, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind showing it to you this week (I actually live in New York). I can have her e-mail you if you like?

Thanks so much for writing back. I’m sorry, I won’t be able to come see it anymore as I have planned. I was supposed to be in town for a business management seminar/meeting but it has been cancelled already. I believe I can still go ahead and buy it right? I really need it for someone dear to me, a distant cousin.I’ll mail you an official bank check certified for the quoted price. Any repairs will be on me bearing the consequences of not seeing before buying. I’ll be taking care of the pickup/handling/shipping also. You do not have to worry about the shipping process and cost okay. I’ll add the shipping funds to the sale price and arrange for a delivery person afterwards to handle the pickup and delivery including all shipping arrangements. I will be very glad and much delighted if it can be sold to me. Email me back with your name, phone number and address to get the check mailed out to you. Thanks a lot.

Sorry again I couldn’t make it. Hope you’re having a good time?? I’ll be waiting to hear from you soon.

Thanks,
Barbara.

Hello Barbara,
Yes, I am having a good time, thank you for asking.

I’m sorry we won’t be able to show you the desk in person, but I’m sure we can take care of everything through e-mail.

I should probably tell you about a recent development with the desk. We think there is a small bird somewhere inside of it. We can hear it chirping very faintly. And we think it might be a Lark, or perhaps a Tufted Titmouse (my mom is very good at identifying bird calls). I really can’t imagine how it got in there!

I hope this won’t discourage you from purchasing the desk. I’m sure the bird will eventually find its way out, or die, sometime in the next several weeks. The chirping is rather irritating, but perhaps it won’t bother you since you are hard of hearing. Though you did say it was for your distant cousin, so you might need to check with him or her?

In any case, please let me know what you decide.

Thanks,
Jim

I will like to get it, please send the requested info so i can have the check mailed out to you.

Hi Barbara,
Thank you for letting me know you are still interested in the desk, and I was just about to write to you. We have determined that what is inside the desk is not a Tufted Titmouse as we previously thought. It’s a bat! We can hardly believe it, ourselves, but I’m attaching a photo my mom took so you can see it with your own eyes. There it is, plain as day!

315855_10151188527070958_405601242_n

That’s not the end of it. Our cat, Pop-Tart, was investigating the invading critter for herself and the bat bit her on the face! And just as we feared, it appears the bat has rabies. Pop-Tart is showing symptoms of what is known as the “furious phase.” She’s irritable and restless, withdrawn and hyperresponsive to auditory and visual stimuli. We made the mistake of taking her to Walmart and she seriously flipped out.

So, as you can imagine, our main concern at this point is Pop-Tart’s well-being. And of course removing the bat from inside the desk! We have called Animal Control and they are sending someone out this week. Once we’ve gotten that all taken care of, I will contact you with our pick-up information.

Barbara, I’m so sorry about all of this! Thank you for your patience!!

– – –

Barbara,
UPDATE: Animal Control has just removed the bat from the desk and it is ready for pick-up.

But guess who else they took with them. That’s right: Pop-Tart! She has a slim chance of pulling through this ordeal, but the rabies treatment will be expensive. That’s why it’s so important that we sell this desk now. Please respond as soon as possible to confirm you will still be able to take it. We will drop the price to $500.

Again, I apologize for all the trouble. We have concluded that our Great Aunt Tabitha had the desk up in the attic at her country house in Murfreesboro, which must be how the bat got inside.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Jim

I’m still ready to buy it, kindly send the requested info so i can have the check mailed out to you.

OK, great! By the way, we can only accept cash for the desk. No checks.

Jack Rooney

Skeleton-typist

Re: *Price Reduced* Walnut Office Desk

I would love to buy your furniture. Please state your final cost price in your response to this message. I’m willing and ready to purchase it from you immediately.

That’s great. The price of the desk is $550. Please let me know what arrangements you would like to make. Happy New Year!

Best,
Jim

I’m making an instant purchase and also wouldn’t mind adding an extra $25 for you to close the ad on craigslist so I can be rest assured I’m the potential buyer. My method of payment would be through a certified bank Check and it will get mailed to you via FedEx or UPS courier service. Do not worry about pick up because my movers will be coming after check has been cashed. Kindly provide me with the following information to facilitate the mailing of the check.

1. Full Name to be on the check
2. Address where payment will be sent to not p.o.box ( because my courier service does not deliver to p.o box )
3. City
4. State
5. Zip Code
6. Mobile Phone #

NB: I would like to also inform you that there will be an excess amount of funds which you will forward to my movers for shipment purpose.

Thanks and wish you a wonderful day ahead.

Hello Jack,
Sounds great! And a lucky way to start the new year. We were sure we had a buyer for the desk last month, but then he just disappeared. We assumed he changed his mind, but then we recognized his name in the paper and apparently he was in some kind of accident. Very odd…

Anyway, it really is a special desk. Our family bought it from an estate sale down in Charleston sometime in the 60s. It was owned by an innkeeper at an historic B&B who suddenly decided to sell everything and move to Colorado.

There is one thing I wanted to let you know about – just a small repair we may have to make. It seems a track on one of the drawers is jammed. When we got your e-mail yesterday, we had one of the neighbors help us move the desk into the entry way. As he was clearing out some of the old papers, the drawer slid closed on his hand and got stuck for several minutes.

Don’t worry – he eventually got his hand free! We just want to take a look at the rollers on the tracks to make sure they don’t need adjusting or oiling. It’s very cold in that one particular room for some reason, so we haven’t been able to get a good look yet. But if we can’t find the problem, we can take $50 off the price for your trouble. Let me know how that sounds to you.

All the best,
Jim

 – – –

Good morning, Jack. I am happy to report that we had another look at the drawer that was stuck yesterday, and it’s just fine now. It’s the strangest thing – it appears to be in perfect working condition.

Please let me know when you would like to have the desk picked up, and we will still deduct $50 for all the trouble.

Have a great day.

My movers will come for the pickup as soon as you notify me that you have received the check payment and already have cash at hand. So I need you to be sure to write back to me your full name, home mailing address with zip code and your phone number.  I would have my secretary write and mail your check as soon as the required information is ready.

I hope to read back from you this information so there wouldn’t be any waste of time during this transaction.

My Warmest Regards

Hello Jack,
Can you please ask your secretary if she or he needs my home mailing address, or the address where the desk is located? It’s actually at my mother’s house, but I live somewhere else.

Secondly, I am delayed in writing because of a minor emergency we experienced today. For approximately 6 hours, we could not find the desk! It was missing from the living room, and then we found it back there later this evening. We can only assume that someone broke into the house and took it, and then returned it for some reason. The strangest part is that we were in the next room the entire time and never heard a sound!

Needless to say, we are all a bit shaken up by the thought of a burglary. We have called the police to investigate, but I can assure you that the desk is in perfect condition. There isn’t a scratch on it! Our pastor also agreed when he saw it—he was here for moral support until he suddenly took ill and had to leave.

I apologize for all of the trouble, Jack. I promise we will get everything straightened out tomorrow! Remember to ask your secretary about the address and get back to me.

Thanks,
Jim

“Tears of joy are like the summer rain drops pierced by sunbeams.”-Hosea Ballou

Are you still buying the desk?

Yes I am.  Where should the check get mailed ?  Your home address will be perfect.

OK, good. I was afraid something had happened to you, like our potential buyer last month.

We are very anxious to sell this desk! After our pastor, Father Dobbins, left the other day, he phoned us and said we should get rid of it immediately. But then the line started breaking up and went dead, and we haven’t been able to reach him since. I sure hope he’s okay!

Since then, we have been woken up each morning at 3:15am to loud banging sounds coming from the room where the desk is. But when we would investigate, no one was there. I think the drawers have come loose again, and our dog Jodie is afraid to go near the desk ever since one of them suddenly slid open and knocked her over. She is a Welsh Corgi, so she’s short and not very strong. Between you and me, I think Jodie also had an accident in that room, and she’s embarrassed to go in there. How else to explain the small swarm of flies that has gathered around the desk and on the windows?

But by far the strangest thing about the desk is that we have discovered it can fly! That’s right, the desk floats up into the air and then flies around! We have even learned how to control it and tell it where to go. It has been very useful for flying down to Harris Teeter to do our grocery shopping, all the while accompanied by a pair of flying, talking fish named Henry and Miss Price. The fish tell us how to steer the desk and control it with our minds.

All of this may sound too amazing to give up, but we are simple people and don’t know anything about magic and stuff. We’re not sure we’re cut out for this kind of excitement. For the right person, though, who knows what incredible things might happen!! My new offer to you is this: you give me your home address and we will tell the desk to fly there, free of charge!

I hope you don’t think I am making this up, Jack. Believe me, I know how annoying it is to have someone waste your time when you are just trying to make an honest business transaction.

Warm Regards,
Jim

PAINTING Classes

200807301102020.alvz 1

Hello,

How are you doing today? My name is Frank Moss I want to book for PAINTING Classes with you while on a 2 weeks holidays in your country. We are a group of 10 people seeking for PAINTING Classes.

We shall need a PAINTING Classes for the whole 2weeks in your area. I would like to book for 2weeks classes for 3 hours each day Monday to Saturday (morning hours) for a group of 10. We are asking for 3 hours per day for 2weeks – Monday – Saturday. A total of 36 hrs. Do you have a training facility where you conduct classes? We can arrange for this, if not available. Do you have rooms or is there any hotel close to your facility?

DATE: 7TH JANUARY 2011 TO 21 JANUARY 2011.

I would love to know the possibility of working with you during this period. Kindly get back to me with your proposals so that we can make booking ASAP.

The group would be performing for a group of family members over there. I would love to get the total cost or a quote/estimate. What are your payment options? Do you accept credit cards? I would be grateful if you will be willing to do the work to teach quality classes and make us happy.

Regards,
Frank

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